made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
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stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
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I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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