I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize