If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize