he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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