I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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