Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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