I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
he high fived his dick after we had sex
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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