Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
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