yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
She's JV to your varsity
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Say something about gay babies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Randomize