return my video game
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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