I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize