I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
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