Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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