i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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