Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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