Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize