so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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