Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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