Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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