Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
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then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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