kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
He passed out mid-signature
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
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somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
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I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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