I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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