I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
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