thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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