In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
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She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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