I wish you could order shots online.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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