she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Found the puke drawer
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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