Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize