I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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