that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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