im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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