Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
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On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
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I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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