Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize