hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
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