We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize