how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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