I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize