Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize