census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Randomize