I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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