I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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