just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize