what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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