Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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