the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize