Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
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He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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