Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
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I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
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My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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