Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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