you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
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