My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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